Christie Goodman, APR, Fellow PRSA, is director of communications at IDRA, a national education equity and civil rights non-profit based in San Antonio. She is a graduate of Texas Tech University (and a Goin’ Band and Courtjesters alum). She was a long-time leader of two Girl Scout troops and a board member of the March of Dimes San Antonio, among other volunteer roles. Christie is writing a memoir featuring a motherhood journey through infertility and near-death premature childbirth, twice, while weaving the stories of feminist biblical heroines with surprisingly parallel struggles and life consequences.
Who/what made you want to write? Was there a particular person, or particular writers/works/art forms that influenced you?
I’ve enjoyed writing ever since my junior high honors English class taught by Ms. King, the same Ms. King who was briefly in the spotlight after the Columbia Shuttle disaster when reporters heard she was also the favorite of astronaut William C. McCool. Her mesmerizing lectures opened a new world of composition with the nuance of words and building stories with deliberate sentence structures and figurative language. She called writing an “adventure.” I once tried to record her class with my fake Walkman, but her eagle eye caught me.
What inspired you to start writing this book?
When I was in the depths of my struggle with infertility, I whined to a friend that I could not find books on the experience from a faith perspective and, certainly, none to guide congregations on how they could support couples who found themselves in a faith crisis brought on by a medical crisis. “Then write it,” she said as if she was instructing me to pen a postcard. This wise friend had been my youth pastor and later performed my wedding ceremony. Her opinion matters to me. I eventually had my children, albeit in life-threatening circumstances, but I could not let go of her charge. One Saturday morning, I toyed with an outline that conceived a book to be a guide for pastors and laity, with an opening chapter summarizing my story. As the outline took shape, I realized it really could become a book. I started writing between my daughters’ volleyball games, school diorama projects, and Girl Scout troop meetings.
Years and 45,000 words later, my second inspiration came from Stefanie Wilder-Taylor, co-host of one of my favorite parenting podcasts, For Crying Out Loud, with Lynette Corolla. Stefanie is the author of several successful books, including Sippy Cups are Not for Chardonnay and Drunkish. Based in L.A., she moved her memoir writing workshops online during the pandemic. I signed up for skill-building, and maybe some encouragement. I realized I had been holding back my story, thinking I shouldn’t dwell on it; it would be presumptuous and was just there to set the stage. But the women in the writing group liked it when I developed scenes from my memory and journals. They enjoyed the tension, even when they knew how the dramatic moments were going to end. They kept asking for more. Before I knew it, instead of an instruction manual, I was writing a memoir.
Tell us the story of your book’s title. Was it easy to find, or did it take forever?
Originally, my book title was “Meant to Be” to counter the familiar platitude that tends to discount the fact that infertility is a medical problem. A little over a year ago, I saw the title was already published and had reached the New York Times fiction best-seller list. I was surprised by my relief. I recalled that I saw few smiles when I had shared the “Meant to Be” title. Now I had the freedom to explore. Explore I did. And reflect. My new title comes from a chapter in my book where, after learning I was finally pregnant, I realized I would have a new name: Mommy. My new title was born: Someone to Call Me Mommy.
If your book had a soundtrack, what are some songs that would be on it?
There are actually several songs in my book, the Spice Girls’ “Wannabe,” Shania Twain’s “Feel Like a Woman,” Martina McBride’s “A Broken Wing,” “This is One of Those Moments,” by Barbra Streisand in Yentl, and “A Whole New World” from Aladdin. My song to my daughters is definitely Lee Ann Womack’s “I Hope You Dance.”
But when I step back and look at my whole book, I lean toward Katy Perry’s “Roar” – “Scared to rock the boat and make a mess. So I sat quietly, agreed politely. I guess that I forgot I had a choice… Get ready ’cause I’ve had enough.… I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter… and you’re gonna hear me roar.”
Describe your dream book cover.
In a dream world, my book cover would have a lovely photo of one of the Biblical barren women who are featured in my book. Maybe it would be Rachel, who died in childbirth like I almost did. Or perhaps it would be Hannah, the first woman in the Bible to speak her prayer in public and to offer an official vow. If only I could travel back in time with my Nikon D3500 and set up a tripod facing her and a hilltop sunrise!
What other professions have you worked in? What’s something about you that your readers wouldn’t know?
My profession is public relations in the non-profit sector. By day, I am cutting sentences and syllables to content engage online readers. By night, I am adding detail and feelings to engage memoir readers. The contrast is fascinating.
I am a daughter of a high school band director. Readers would definitely not know that, when I was a teen, the Texas girl spent her summers serenading Herford cows with her French horn in a Southern Colorado pasture.
What books did you read (for research or comfort) throughout your writing process?
I didn’t know how it would influence me when I first read An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination: A Memoir by Elizabeth McCracken. Elizabeth was scheduled to speak at an event hosted by the Manic Mommies podcast. They called these events “escapes” designed for moms by moms where the word “should” was banned. Elizabeth had written about when she was living in France and learned, at nine months pregnant, that her baby boy had died. I was amazed at how she could relay her tragic story so beautifully.
For my book, I researched facts about infertility and prematurity and advice from experts and women who were experts in their experience. I reviewed academic papers and books on the psychological impact these experiences have on couples and best practices for counselors. And I thoroughly enjoyed digging into the theological interpretations of different faith groups regarding fertility and family building. While my tradition is moderate Protestant, I have worked and worshiped in many interfaith settings. I wanted my book to be accessible. In looking at the Biblical stories of barren women, you hear a lot of blame: They didn’t trust God; they played favorites, etc. (much like what we hear today about women). I saw it differently. The experience of these ancient women was so similar to mine. In my research, I found an article by Jewish studies scholar Dr. Rachel Havrelock, “The Myth of Birthing the Hero: Heroic Barrenness in the Hebrew Bible.” In outlining a type scene, she suggests these women asserted their own covenant with God in their journeys into motherhood. This refreshing perspective gave me a structure for my stories and an invitation to dig deeper.
What is one thing you hope readers take away from reading your book? How do you envision your perfect reader?
The core readership will likely be the sisterhood of mothers regardless of each path to motherhood. My book explores questions arising from compounding grief, crushed dreams, and finding light in the darkness. Underlying themes cover the doctor-patient relationship, the practice of waiting and the value of a supportive community.
The memoir genre enabled me to make it hopefully entertaining as well. The book has stories of talk radio in an ambulance, fertility drugs in a rodeo parking lot, a disappearing twin, a daily Snickers prescription, an evil doctor, and gunshots over grilled cheese.
And for those readers who themselves are struggling with infertility or face traumatic births, I pray these pages sustain them in their grief and help renew their hope.
Are you a writer, too? Submit your manuscript to Atmosphere Press.