An Interview with Elizabeth Austin

Elizabeth Austin’s writing has appeared in Huffington Post, Thrillist, Reactor Mag, Business Insider, and others. She holds an M.F.A. from Vermont College of Fine Arts and lives in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, with her two children and their many pets. Find her at writingelizabeth.com and on Instagram @writingelizabeth.

What inspired you to start writing this book?

When my daughter was in treatment for leukemia, I wanted more than anything to find my experience reflected somewhere. I wanted a map or a guide, or at least some indication that the struggles I was having weren’t singular to me. Having a kid with cancer is a terrible experience for any parent, but being a single parent, bearing the sole responsibility of my family’s income and insurance, was especially trying. Most of the parents I talked to had a partner who contributed in some way, either by helping with hospital stays or by continuing to work. I had to do it all, and it took an enormous toll on me at a time when I was also expected to be at my best and strongest for my very sick daughter. I started writing this book because it’s the book I wish I’d read when I was in the thick of it all.

Tell us the story of your book’s current title. Was it easy to find, or did it take forever?

I knew it as soon as I read it. It’s from the final line of Mary Oliver’s poem “The Journey,” and it clicked for me because the poem is about gathering yourself and moving forward over a rough and trying terrain. It’s about knowing what you can control and what you can’t, what you can help and what you can’t. What really brought it home for me is that throughout my daughter’s years in cancer treatment, I was desperately trying to save her. I drove myself crazy trying, but the reality is that I couldn’t save her life. I could love her, support her, make the best possible medical decisions for her, but I couldn’t control what the cancer would do. In the end, the only life I could save was my own, and my book is the story of my path to that understanding.

Describe your dream book cover.

When I imagine holding my book in my hands, I see a white cover. On the right side is a rendering of my daughter’s hospital pole with her medication and blood bags hanging from the top and a tangle of lines hanging down. Her stuffed bunny, Snuffle Bunny, is resting on top of the pole’s terminals. On the left side, in black text, is the book’s title, and my name is along the bottom.

If your book had a soundtrack, what are some songs that would be on it?

My book has a secret Spotify playlist! It’s all the songs I listened to when I was writing different parts of the book. Sometimes I need music to help me move through a scene, to bring the memories into clearer focus or to help me nail down the timing and emotions. I’ve set a lot of the scenes in my book to songs—”Stayaway” by MUNA, “Lost Anyways” by whatever mike, “Let It Slide” by Dirty Dollhouse, “Red Right Hand” by Nick Cave, and “Ronan (TV)” by Taylor Swift all live on the playlist and forever rent-free in my head.

What books are you reading (for research or comfort) as you continue the writing process?

I keep two stacks of books on my desk at all times. One is an ‘evergreen’ stack, which is compiled of books I turn to no matter what I’m working on. Stephen King’s On Writing, Before and After the Book Deal by Courtney Maum, The Situation and the Story by Vivian Gornick, and 1,000 Words by Jami Attenberg all have a permanent spot on my desk.

There is also a project-specific stack that changes based on what I’m working on. Right now it includes Stephanie Land’s Maid, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Notes on Grief, Suleika Jaouad’s Between Two Kingdoms, and Body Work by Melissa Febos.

Outside of my writing projects, the next books on my TBR are We Need No Wings by Ann Dávila Cardinal followed by Dearest by Jacquie Walters, two books I’ve been looking forward to reading for months!

What other professions have you worked in? What’s something about you that your readers wouldn’t know?

I’ve worked retail, service industry, freelance, and office jobs—really everything across the board. I made pizza and poured beer while I was living in New Mexico for a summer on my way to New York, and I worked in a restaurant while I was living in the city. I worked freelance in undergrad and grad school because I was full-time and raising my kids on my own, but three months after graduating I got an office job with a salary and benefits. I ended up working in the online learning space for six years. I started down an Instructional Design path, and while the work appealed to me, at the end of the day I’m a writer. It’s the thing I do best, it’s what I care most about by a long shot. At the end of 2023, I left my full-time job to write. Over the course of so many jobs in so many different industries I realized it was a waste of my time to do anything else.

I don’t know if there’s anything readers wouldn’t know—I’m pretty upfront and I write about my life quite a bit. I asked my daughter what she thought would surprise people about me and she said, “How kind you are—you’re not a pushover but you’re very kind to people and very forgiving.” So I’ll just add: something readers wouldn’t know is that while I’m a writer by profession, my kids most often have the right words at the right time.

Who/what made you want to write? Was there a particular person, or particular writers/works/art forms that influenced you?

It will surprise no one that I was ushered along my path to writing by a long line of English teachers. As a kid I was always journaling, my head was constantly lost in a story, but in high school my 10th grade English teacher, Diane Downs, quipped to the class: “Elizabeth is an excellent writer, she just doesn’t know it yet.” It was the first time I remember someone recognizing something in my writing, and it stunned me. I’ve never forgotten it. Then in college my professor, Elizabeth Luciano, read pieces I’d written for her creative writing class and connected me with the late (and truly great) Chris Bursk, who became my mentor for almost a decade. Chris was relentless in his encouragement and his advice, and his generosity and belief in me propelled me into my MFA program where I met some of my closest friends, hardworking and talented writers who continue to inspire me today.

I’ve written about Stephen King’s influence on me at length, but outside of my immediate circle, Carrie was the book that made me want to be a writer and Stephen King was the writer who made me want to write. I love the horror genre in general, I love its range and I love how it leans toward the visceral, and Stephen King’s work, particularly everything that takes place in Maine, has always been close to my heart.

Where is your favorite place to write?

I love my home office, which is just a little alcove off of our living room. It’s removed enough from the activity of our home that it gives me some quiet, but it’s not totally cut off. I’m mindful of how my kids view my relationship to my work—I want them to associate my writing with focus, not frustration or isolation. Also, I like being near my kids. I don’t like shutting myself behind a closed door away from where they are, even when I’m working. I also like being in my home, I like having my dog and cat nearby. My desk is an automated sit-stand thing, and it faces a window overlooking the street. There’s great light and lots of plants, I have my electric kettle and a dozen types of tea. It’s lovely.

Do you have any writing rituals?

On my own, I just like to have a cup of tea on my desk when I sit down to write. I drink tons of tea when I’m writing, it’s wonderful.

One of my close friends and writing partners will often pull a card from his oracle deck to kick off our writing Zooms, and I look forward to this little ritual each time we meet. I haven’t gotten into the habit on my own because part of the magic is hearing him read it, he has Jessica Roux’s Woodland Wardens deck and it always feels like a special way to begin our writing time. 9 times out of 10, the card ends up being spot-on.

What is one thing you hope readers take away from reading your book? How do you envision your perfect reader?

I hope my book helps in the push to direct more resources toward pediatric cancer research. The stats around current methods of treatment are tough—400,000 kids are diagnosed with some type of cancer each year around the globe, with 95% of survivors experiencing a significant side effect from their treatment by the time they’re 45. Pediatric cancer research is consistently underfunded, not to mention the lack of accessible healthcare and paid leave for families in the US. There is so much more we should be doing to make an already difficult path a bit smoother. I hope my story helps move that conversation forward.

I also hope my book opens a door to more nuanced conversations around motherhood. There is an expectation that moms will have access to superhuman emotional strength when faced with serious challenges, and while that has been true at some points in my life, it isn’t true for every time I’ve faced a hardship, and it certainly wasn’t true during one of the hardest times of my family’s lives. Mothers need freedom and space and grace so we can be ordinary humans. It’s a fundamental part of our existence to be flawed and it’s something we shouldn’t feel shame around. More than anything, I hope any other mothers in similar positions to mine will see themselves in my story and know that they’re not alone.

Are you a writer, too? Submit your manuscript to Atmosphere Press.