Three Times A Mourner, by Fredricka R. Maister

Personal Essays on Grief and Healing

Fredricka R. Maister calls herself “a lifelong mourner.”

At twelve, she lost her father suddenly—and coped by not coping. Twenty-five years later, the brutal murder of her longtime partner shattered the emotional barriers she had built. Then came the slow decline of her mother, whose final years were spent in a nursing home.

Each loss brought its own kind of grief, shaped by the relationship, the circumstances, and the stage of life in which it occurred. In Three Times a Mourner, Maister, a seasoned essayist, reflects on these deeply personal experiences. With honesty and grace, she explores how grief evolves over time and how writing became part of her healing.

This is not a how-to guide or a set of steps for getting over loss. It’s a moving collection of essays about mourning, memory, and resilience—offering insight and connection to anyone who has experienced the death of a loved one.

Whether you’re grieving now or living with a sorrow from long ago, Three Times a Mourner is a companion through the difficult terrain of loss—and a reminder that healing, though never simple, is always possible.

“Fredricka Maister grabs grief and puts it in a chokehold, holding it still enough so that we’re able to see it up close and personal.”

—Charles Salzberg, author of over 40 non-fiction and fiction books, including the Henry Swann Mystery series