Dean’s List, by Michael Orey

A sharp, satirical romp through the absurdities of academia, where ambition knows no bounds and rankings rule all.

When Charles Ogden Dean III—better known (to his chagrin) as “Dean Dean”—takes charge of a once-floundering law school now rebranded under the prestigious Brown University banner, he’s thrust into a world of high-stakes academic one-upmanship. Faculty demand lobster lunches, donors expect endless groveling, and animal rights activists are wreaking havoc. But none of that compares to the provost’s ultimatum: catapult the school into the top five of national rankings within a year.

What follows is a madcap journey of moral compromise and professional peril. From a secret slush fund bankrolled by a rogue nation to a bizarre run-in with North Atlantic pirates, Dean Dean’s quest for academic glory caroms between absurdity and chaos.. Along the way, his personal life teeters on the brink as his marine-biologist girlfriend grows weary of his obsession with the rat race.

Blending biting cultural critique with laugh-out-loud storytelling, DEAN’S LIST skewers the vanity, pettiness, and relentless competition of higher education. With its cast of egotistical faculty, desperate administrators, and the absurdity of rankings-driven madness, this comic novel is a hilarious and thought-provoking exploration of the lengths to which people will go to chase success—and the cost of losing sight of what truly matters.

For fans of academic satire and anyone who’s ever questioned the sanity of the ivory tower, DEAN’S LIST is a must-read.