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Eternal Questions: A Maybe Interesting List, by Iwanna Twainbee


Iwanna, the only thing eternal about these questions is damnation.
-Dante Alighieri

Iwanna, you have too many references to the hand of god, the great wisdom traditions, etc., etc., etc. You are a boob, Iwanna. THERE IS NO GOD. GOT IT? NONE!
-Friedrich Nietzsche, a None not a Nun

Iwanna, if you wanna get to heaven, you gotta raise a little hell, and not waste time on what you claim to be eternal questions.
-The Ozark Mountain Daredevils

Iwanna, I kant get interested in any of these questions because the answers aren’t categorically imperative.
-Immanuel Kant

Iwanna, your book title is deceitful, for surely you think your questions are truly interesting and not just maybe interesting. Please stop being irrational and emotional.
-Ayn Rand. (And, Iwanna, I don’t wanna you to take this emotionally, but my name is pronounced “Iiiieeeyyyyn” not “Ann”, YOU IGNORANT SLUT!)

Iwanna, as the all knowing and all seeing Great Prophet of Two Millenia I refuse to get Tangled up in You. To quote my friend, Michael Jackson, BEAT IT!
-Bob Dylan, Nobel Lariat

Ethics, Schmethics.

I hate all you bastards.

Iwanna Twainbee attended St. Petersburg Missouri Community College where she mainly smoked cigars and got drunk with her friends. Mark Twain appeared during her seances, and, fortunately, he became her guru.

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