An Interview with Danielle Ariano

Danielle Ariano was born and raised in the Philadelphia suburbs, but became a Baltimorean when she moved to the city for college. She was charmed by Baltimore’s quirky, artsy vibe.

Ariano’s memoir, The Requirement of Grief, is a meditation on the complexities of the sister bond and the grief that comes when that bond is broken by a sibling’s suicide.

Ariano received her MFA in Creative Nonfiction from the University of Baltimore. As part of her thesis, she wrote, designed, and published her first book, Getting Over the Rainbow, a memoir recounting her humorous and sometimes painful experiences coming out as a lesbian.

Ariano’s work has been published in Salon, Huff Post, Baltimore City Paper, Baltimore Fishbowl, North Dakota Quarterly, Cobalt Review, and Welter. She is a former columnist for Baltimore Gay Life, and she has been featured on WYPR’s radio show, The Signal.

Tell us the story of your book’s title. Was it easy to find, or did it take forever?

Titles are usually incredibly hard for me; however, this one presented itself to me while I was writing a short chapter that comes late in the book. In that chapter, I write, “As time passes, I learn that grief’s only requirement is that it must be carried. It does not care if you are ready for it or if its weight is too much to bear or if you are in the throes of the deepest joy.”

As I was writing those lines, I realized that The Requirement of Grief was my title.

Who/what made you want to write? Was there a particular person, or particular writers/works/art forms that influenced you?

Quite fittingly, my sister Alexis made me want to write. Growing up, I wanted to do everything that she did. When she went to college, I remember reading some of her essays and feeling a sense of awe over how well her words were able to capture their subject. I was jealous of this ability and initially it was this jealousy that propelled me into writing.

But after the jealousy wore off, I found that writing gave my brain a certain kind of peace that I could not find elsewhere. Writing became the way that I made sense of the world. To this day I still find it both extremely difficult and fulfilling.

What other professions have you worked in? What’s something about you that your readers wouldn’t know?

I’m a cabinetmaker. After graduating from college, I had no idea what I wanted to “be.” I wound up applying to Americorps and spent a year building houses with Habitat for Humanity in Miami. I found that I truly enjoyed the physical aspects of the work, and when I finished my year I eventually got hired in a cabinet shop. I fell in love with the profession despite the countless hours I spent those first years doing little more sanding and sweeping.

What was the most rewarding/meaningful part of publishing your book?

Writing is such a solitary endeavor, which is part of what I love about it, but it can feel lonely at times. The coolest part of publishing a book is making connections with readers. Sometimes those readers are people I know and sometimes they are strangers, but either way, it’s gratifying and humbling to receive feedback from readers. It’s amazing to hear that my book—a thing that I toiled over for so many hours of my life—has made an impact on another human being.

How was working with Atmosphere Press? What would you tell other writers who want to publish?

Working with Atmosphere was a great experience. The staff is professional, friendly, and knowledgeable. They are really organized and good at explaining the process and timeline. Ronaldo Alves really worked with me on the cover design and got back to me in a timely manner. Tammy gave me such great notes during my developmental edit. Top-notch at every turn.

Are you a writer, too? Submit your manuscript to Atmosphere Press.