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Advice for writers

Writing Authentic Children: Avoiding Stereotypes and Precociousness

An image of five children in glasses laying with their heads together next to the text "Writing Child Characters while avoiding stereotypes"

Creating Child Characters that Feel Real

Creating young characters that feel real is a delicate balance. While it’s tempting to make them stand out by adding unique qualities, it’s important to resist making them overly precocious or stereotypical—doing so can strip them of their genuine, relatable qualities, making them feel more like a plot device than a fully realized character. Writing child characters that resonate requires a careful balance of age-appropriate traits and emotional depth to avoid falling into the trap of making them overly mature or one-dimensional.

Why Do Some Child Characters Feel Unrealistic?

Have you ever come across a child character who seems to speak and reason like an adult, rather than a real kid?

This can happen when writers try to make their young characters stand out by making them overly articulate, wise beyond their years, or unnaturally mature. While these efforts are often rooted in good intentions, they can unintentionally disrupt the flow of the story.

When children in fiction are presented as too precocious or overly insightful, their actions and dialogue may feel forced, breaking the immersion. Instead of adding depth, these traits can leave readers struggling to relate to the character.

Why does this happen?

Desire for memorability: Writers often try to make their child characters memorable by giving them qualities that are distinct or unexpected. This can lead to making them more mature or articulate than is realistic, as the author wants to ensure the character stands out.

Attempt to add depth: In an effort to make the character more compelling, authors may overcompensate by imbuing them with wisdom or insights that feel more appropriate for an adult. While this is meant to show intelligence or depth, it often results in the character feeling more like a small adult than a real child.

Humor or dramatic effect: In some cases, writers try to leverage the exaggerated maturity of a child for humor or dramatic effect. However, this tactic can quickly backfire, making the character feel out of place in the context of their age.

What Makes a Child Character Feel Real?

To ensure your child characters feel authentic, consider the following elements:

1. Age-Appropriate Language

Young children

Simple, expressive dialogue. Their speech often mimics the adults around them but with more straightforward and less refined language.

Avoid overly sophisticated speech that doesn’t match their age. A ten-year-old doesn’t sound like a forty-year-old, no matter how well-read or gifted they are!

Older children (pre-teens and teens)

Broader vocabulary but still influenced by peer culture and personal experiences. They may enjoy experimenting with slang and humor.

2. Emotional Authenticity

Children experience intense, raw emotions, but their understanding of these feelings is still developing.

For example, a child might express frustration over something minor—like not getting a toy—but it’s still valid and real for them. They often react before thinking, which brings a freshness to their experiences.

Younger children tend to wear their emotions on their sleeves. If they’re angry, they’ll shout. If they’re sad, they’ll cry.

Older children and teens may internalize feelings more but still struggle to manage complex emotions. They might have moments of introspection but still lack the emotional tools adults possess.

3. Inconsistent Thought Processes

Children often demonstrate inconsistent reasoning, jumping from one idea to another or believing things that adults know aren’t true. This developmental inconsistency adds authenticity to their portrayal. Their misunderstandings or illogical conclusions make them feel more human and believable.

For example, a child might believe that if they don’t wear a specific shirt, something bad will happen. While adults know there’s no connection, the child’s belief is real to them!

How to Avoid Making Your Child Characters Overly Precocious

A common pitfall in writing child characters is making them unreasonably wise beyond their years. Here’s how to avoid that:

Resist the Urge to Make Them Too Wise

While children can have moments of clarity, it’s important to keep their insights within age-appropriate boundaries. A seven-year-old doesn’t fully understand relationships the way an adult would, even if they’re observant. Let their wisdom be genuine but not over-the-top.

Focus on Their Growth

Instead of having them be all-knowing, show their evolution throughout the story. A child’s development and learning are fascinating and should be reflected in their journey. This way, the character can feel vibrant and real, rather than static or overly mature.

Avoid Adult-Like Speech Patterns

Kids talk differently than adults. Avoid giving them overly sophisticated vocabulary. Kids can express their emotions and intelligence through actions and observations, not just dialogue. Let their words feel unpolished, natural, and true to their age.

How to Avoid Stereotyping Children

Stereotypes can make your young characters feel one-dimensional and flat. Don’t fall into this trap! Instead, when writing child characters…

1. Give Your Child Character Depth

Children, like adults, are complex individuals with unique interests and emotions. Avoid reducing them to simple stereotypes, and instead consider their backstory and motivations.

Maybe the quiet child loves drawing because they find words difficult to express, or the loud child is hiding feelings of inadequacy. A “troublemaker” child might act out due to trauma at home, not because they’re inherently bad.

2. Don’t Overgeneralize Gender Roles

Challenge traditional gender expectations! Boys don’t have to be adventurous, and girls don’t always need to be nurturing. Allow your characters to have a range of experiences and interests that feel true to them rather than conforming to gender stereotypes.

For example, a girl doesn’t have to be the “sweet, caring” one, nor does the boy need to be the “rough-and-tumble” leader.

3. Avoid One-Dimensional “Bad” Kids

Instead of portraying a child as simply a troublemaker or bully, explore their underlying motivations. Perhaps they’re acting out due to a difficult home life or a need for attention. By humanizing them, you avoid flattening their character and create opportunities for depth and growth.

How to Make Your Child Characters Feel Unique

What sets your child characters apart from others? To make your young characters stand out as distinct individuals, consider these strategies:

Give Them Their Own Voice

Every child views the world differently. Think about how their background shapes their speech, actions, and perspectives.

A child from a rural town will express themselves differently than one from a bustling city, and even siblings from the same family may have vastly different perspectives. A shy, introspective child from a small town might speak softly and choose their words carefully, whereas an outspoken city kid might use slang and speak more confidently.

Let Them Have Flaws

Children, like adults, are imperfect. Let your young characters make mistakes, have bad days, and struggle with things they don’t understand. These flaws make them relatable and contribute to their growth throughout the story.

Consider a child who’s always trying to please others—they might make a mistake in trying to help, but learn over time how to set boundaries.

Put Them in Real-Life Situations

The best way to show a child’s personality is to put them in situations that challenge them. These could be everyday issues like dealing with a difficult friendship or complex situations that force them to grow.

For example, a child might have to navigate a divorce or the illness of a parent, or the experience of losing a pet could reflect their emotional maturity and understanding of loss.

How Writing Child Characters Differs Across Genres

The genre you’re working in will influence how you write your child characters. Here’s a breakdown:

Literary fiction: Child characters often serve a supporting role and observe adult experiences. Their development is more subtle and often tied to their reactions to the adult world.

Middle-grade novels: Children are the main protagonists, with a focus on emotional journeys and growth. Dialogue reflects their age, and they often drive the plot. Their moral dilemmas and growth are central to the story.

Fantasy and speculative fiction: Children can take on extraordinary roles in fantasy and speculative genres, but their emotional growth should remain grounded in their age. Even in magical worlds, their feelings of fear, hope, and confusion should be relatable.

Historical fiction: A child’s worldview is shaped by the time period they live in. Their behavior, language, and understanding of the world will differ from modern children, making historical accuracy crucial. Consider how they may have a different understanding of social roles, politics, and family dynamics.

Comedy and satire: In comedic genres, children can have exaggerated traits, but their emotions should still feel genuine. Humor should not overshadow their emotional depth, as the absurdity of situations often highlights the child’s natural innocence and vulnerability.

Writing Children That Feel Real Matters

Writing realistic child characters requires a balance of authenticity, growth, and empathy. Avoiding overly mature traits and stereotypes will help you craft memorable, relatable characters.

By respecting their individuality and development, you’ll create children who resonate with your readers and feel truly alive!


EKB author photo 1

Erin K. Larson-Burnett, Production Manager at Atmosphere Press (submit your manuscript here!), is a born-and-raised Southerner currently living in Katy, Texas, with her husband and their small domestic zoo. She is an avid ink drinker who lives and breathes books—during the day, she works remotely with authors around the world, honing and perfecting books published through Atmosphere Press. By night, she crafts her own stories…or at least tries to. The Bear & the Rose is her debut novel.

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